Joe. remember the most often quote by JFK, our most beloved president, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country."
If I can take what I read from your posts as true, and for now I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, you are the same age as my two sons. I will talk to you as I would to them.
If you had to endure the tragedy of growing up in the environment that you claim you did, then you have my deepest sympathies. There are many others that endured your hardships that do not have the same callousness that you appear to have. Some have risen to higher callings and some have sank to the depths that none of us can fathom. You have steeled yourself to pain. You have done what you feel has compensated for the injustices that were inflicted upon you, as unfair that they were, and in your mind have compensated for those inadequacies by doing everything you can by making money to make it all better.
I wish I could kiss your troubled brow and make it all better, but I can't. You need some help, IMO, to resolve your issues. If you REALLY have all that money that you claim to have made, spend a little of it on yourself. Find a good therapist and work through your issues. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE THIS MUCH BURDEN ON YOU. My heart is breaking for you too.
You are to be commended for trying to take care of those that should have taken care of you. Now, it's time to take care of yourself. You are a good son.
Remember this... "The greatest thing that you will ever learn is to love and be loved in return." SH
