Jeff would agree--yesterday, he had some choice if profane words--as he does daily
"flatulent dipshit cancels hate-rally due to rain
dozy dotard Donny whines about his criminal trial, too
JEFF TIEDRICH
APR 21
life sucks out loud right now for Little Donny Fuckface. he’s forced to shiver in a frigid shithole of a courtroom all day long. everything is ugly. look at the place — there isn’t one beautiful gold-plated object in sight.
they make Trump get up so early in the morning — haven’t these peons ever heard of ‘executive time’? — and as a result, he keeps nodding off while enveloped in a dense fog of his own fecal stench.
why is there no big red button on the defendant’s table? where is Number One Flunky Walt Nauta to bring Trump a cool, refreshing Diet Coke?
and that stupid old Judge Merchan won’t stop telling him what to do. why, just the other day Donny stood up and the judge pointed at his chair and told him to sit his stinky ass back down. what the fuck? who talks to God-Emperor King Fuckface the First like that?
but the worst of it — the absolute worst — is that Donny had to sit there and listen as jurors’ tweets were read out loud in court. they called him fat! they called him a criminal! they called him dumb as fuck!
these people — these fucking enemies of the state — they’re all going to Gitmo the very second Donny regains power. just you wait and see.
another thing Donny rages about is how all this trial bullshit is keeping him off the campaign trail.
which makes it all the more hilarious that on Saturday — because weekends are now the only time Trump is able to bask in the glow of his doltish worshipers — he had to cancel a hate-rally in North Carolina because of a little bit of rain. here’s Donny literally phoning it in from his private jet.
“this is Donald Trump, your favorite president of all time, hopefully. as you can see, there is some very bad weather heading in, and we’re flying in in a few minutes but they really would prefer that we not come in because there’s a certain danger to all of this and we want to make sure that everyone is safe.”
holy shit, the preening imbecile can’t even cancel an event without first puffing himself up. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that my “favorite president of all time” isn’t an 88-count narcoleptic fart factory.
Donny Diaperload hates the rain, because it fucks up that tangled rat’s nest of cotton candy bullshit that sits atop his big dumb pumpkin head. recall that Trump famously blew off a commemoration of fallen WWI heroes, because of a light drizzle. Mr. Super Patriot opted instead to rage-tweet from his hotel room.
you may be asking: what’s so bad about a little rain? can’t Donny have some toady hold an umbrella while he waddles from the airplane to his limo to the rally?
no he can’t, because Trump’s hate-rallies are now held outside. take another look at that video clip above. the crowd of excited cultists are waiting on the airport tarmac — because that’s where these things take place now. Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants flies in, rambles incoherently for an hour and a half, and flies out.
fake-billionaire Donald Trump is flat broke. his campaign is spending so much money on criminal defense lawyers — Alina Habba’s brand-new ahem kidneys aren’t going to pay for themselves, you know — that he can no longer afford to rent out stadiums.
it’s all so sad.
