Again, happy that funds work for you. For me, they are not an option, except for the case where funds are the only option available - like DW's 401k. When I invest, I am the fund manager. I don't delegate that to anyone. Funds have different objectives than I do. (Bond) Funds will sacrifice quality in exchange for yield to boost their reported yields - I will not. I can go on and on. We're not going to come to agreement on this.
I'm quite familiar with every flavor of fund you want to discuss - mutual, index, ETF, closed-end, and so on. I will not trust my investments to a fund manager or the whims of an irrational market. I like certainty, just as everyone else does. I have the ability to create certainty, and so I do.