Please Don't Feed the Pigeons.
There are ways to reactively help manage non-functional attention-seeking behaviour when a child is learning better ways to ask for attention. The best way to address an undesirable attention-function behaviour is to simply ignore it. Ignoring a behaviour is a suitable consequence, even if that idea seems a bit absurd at first. It can be hard to look the other way and stay silent when, in an effort to be noticed, your child utters a swear word, engages in property destruction, or flops to the ground in public. Ignoring this behaviour, however, shows the child that whining, screaming, and show-boating will not reward them with attention. Without an audience, many behaviours get boring fast. These behaviours will begin to decrease over time when they aren’t maintained by access to attention.
When the behaviour is put on extinction – that is, when the stimulus reinforcing the behaviour is removed – the child may exhibit “extinction burst.” Essentially, he will wonder why his screaming isn’t working to get your attention anymore, so he will scream louder, for longer. These behaviours have worked before to get him what he wants, so he will engage in them more strongly and may grow frustrated when he still does not get your attention. When the behaviour stops, you can provide praise for the positives your child displays. Praise him for being quiet, for sitting in his chair, and for keeping his hands to himself. This will teach the child that being calm and displaying appropriate behaviour is the way he will access attention.
Ignoring problem behaviour can be extremely difficult and frustrating at times. It is natural to want to put your child in time out when he looks you in the eye, utters a swear word, and giggles. However, it is important to remember that any form of attention is still attention. The best way to manage non-functional attention based behaviours is by praising appropriate ways of asking for attention, and ignoring all inappropriate forms of attention-seeking.
Whiners on a chat board are not investors!
