FAT CATS

[serfdom]

SERFY'S RULES FOR SUSPENDED STOCK MESSAGE BOARDS:

1. Remain calm

2. Try to present all the facts, however depressing they may be. You don't want the real facts to suddenly emerge an hour after the stock begins trading again.

3. Remain calm.

4. Be nice to your fellow boardmates. A HAPPY BOARD IS A PROFITABLE BOARD.

5. Remain calm.

6. If the moderators are being Nazis, pm them and ask, "Would you prefer to use your power to a) profit from other people's losses, or b) to help people attempt to understand the situation and possibly minimize their losses? If your answer is 'yes' to the first question, you have no business being a moderator here." This is quite effective. Resist the urge to key their car.

7. Remain calm

8. When the stock finally opens, let it settle out before making any rash/panicked decisions.

9. Remain calm

10. Remain calm