Saw this on a message board. Enjoy!
Ban 'em all!
I've been reading on a fantasy football
website how the nicknames "Redskins" and "Chiefs"
will not be used when describing the teams in
Washington and Kansas City. It seems that the
"R" and "C" words are just too insulting to
American Indians.
Well, I say it's about time! These team nicknames
ARE offensive. I can't believe the NFL even
allows such things! But we cannot stop by just
banning the Redskins and Chiefs. We need to ban
ALL of the team nicknames -- because each and
every one is an ugly insult to somebody or something.
"Come on," you say? "Not every team nickname is
offensive!" Oh contraire! And I'm prepared
to prove it.
Let's take care of nearly half the league in
one fell swoop. Fifteen NFL teams are names
after animals. So what could be wrong with calling yourself an Eagle, a Dolphin or a Seahawk? Plenty!
People for the Ethical Treatment of animals says,
and I quote, "that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment."
There you have it. PETA says we can't use animals
for ENTERTAINMENT. Football is entertainment.
So say goodbye to the following nicknames:
Cardinals
Falcons
Ravens
Bills
Panthers
Bears
Bengals
Broncos
Lions
Colts
Jaguars
Dolphins
Eagles
Rams
Seahawks
And what about the Packers? They honor the people who slaughter and package some of these fine animals PETA loves so much! Ban 'em!
Speaking of slaughter, do we really need to be celebrating rapists and pillagers? I say NO WAY! So it's time to ban the Vikings, Raiders and Buccaneers.
And then we have the Patriots. A bunch of white males who cried "liberty and justice for all" while at the same time disenfranchising women and minorities? What an insult! Ban 'em.
The Cowboys? How dare they celebrate the very people who slaughtered the Redskins in the first place? Ban 'em!
The Saints? Can't believe Americans for the Separations of Church and State ever let this team off the hook. Ban 'em.
The Giants and the Titans? They make short people feel bad.
And as far as Tennessee goes, any state responsible for giving us 8 long years of having to listen to Al Gore ought to suffer as much as possible. Ban 'em.
The Jets? These polluters of the air make most members of the Audubon Society blanch. Can't have that. Ban 'em.
My beloved Steelers? Yes, they too must be banned. Steel workers pollute the environment, just like the Jets. Ban 'em.
Now we come to the Chargers. Thought you might get me on this one, didn't you? Nope. The Chargers might remind all those poor people in California that they have no electricity.
Can't make those crunchy-granola left-coasters feel bad! Ban 'em.
The 49ers? People who raped the land in order to satiate their greed for gold! That's a no brainer. Ban 'em.
Finally, we come to the Browns. I'm not sure what's so bad about a Brown, but frankly anything coming out of Cleveland is an insult to the rest of us. Ban 'em!
And, my friends, we must ban 'em all soon! Next year, the Houston Texans will enter the league. Texas used to be part of Mexico, and the Mexicans haven't forgotten it. Let's not get an entire country mad at us. Ban 'em before they incite a
war with our neighbors to the south!
So there you have it. We simply can't stop with banning the Redskins and the Chiefs. For the sake of the children, every NFL nickname needs to go. Ban 'em all.
Excel - Greg
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