Followers | 7 |
Posts | 7770 |
Boards Moderated | 0 |
Alias Born | 03/05/2014 |
Thursday, November 18, 2021 9:58:19 PM
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hello, this is DRC Hijacker's Emporium the main headquarters... please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. What can I do for you?
Joey: Let me talk to the agent code-named Dan.
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hold for a moment please while I connect you to the LaPaz Bolivia regional office.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello?
Joey: This is Joey. Joey ex King of DRC... do you remember me?
Hijacker Spokesperson: After that ask-reaming we shareholders took from Glencore on Katanga because of you I have been trying hard to forget you and your perpetual stink for the last 2 years. So what trouble are you in now that you need Israeli brains and firepower to get you out of?
Joey: Well it appears my good man that there is a bit of a little misunderstanding at my bank errrr... at the BGFI Bank I mean. It seems some misplaced money got wired to bunch of my relatives and close friends unbeknownst to me. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-59321755
Hijacker Spokesperson: Say no more... I know how you operate. When do you need to be airlifted out?
Joey: Well, there is no rush but I was thinking tomorrow around 5:00AM-ish would be nice.
Hijacker Spokesperson: It is going to cost you 20 million dollars and a maximum restriction of 100 kilograms in carry-on luggage/strongboxes for you. And no groupie whores accompanying you this time.
Joey: Hmmmm. Let's make that restriction 200 kilograms of carry-on luggage/strongboxes, with only one little bitty whore and I will pay you $25 million.
Hijacker Spokesperson: OK, see you at 5:00AM in the airport same private hanger as the last time you fled the country. And no checks... I accept only cash.
Joey: OK, I will bring the cash. And please not a word to anyone about this sudden vacation trip to wonderful Bolivia. Do they have toilets in Bolivia?
Hijacker Spokesperson: 10-4 and yes they have toilets in Bolivia.
Click bzzz.......
---------------------------
Wednesday, 07/17/19 10:46:26 AM
Re: None 0
Post # of 457
Ring Ring
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hello, this is DRC Hijacker's Emporium the main headquarters... please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. What can I do for you?
Joey: Let me talk to the agent code-named Dan.
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hold for a moment please while I connect you to the LaPaz Bolivia regional office.
Hijacker Spokesperson:] Hello?
Joey: This is Joey.
Hijacker Spokesperson: yeah, what's up?
Joey: Did you read that the DRC Army is moving in full force to control all the thieving bug-infested Ebola-carrying artisanal miners? click here
Hijacker Spokesperson: Yeah, what's the beef?
Joey: What's the beef you ask? If this new Law & Order program is allowed to continue then all the old well-established reputable legal miners will start paying their taxes directly to the DRC Treasury by-passing my goons, schools will be rebuilt by the new government, local governments will be re-organized/re-vitalized, women/kids will no longer be raped/beaten, people will get decent medical attention from a better-funded government by the do-gooders and my core group including me will be completely f**king broke within 3 months... that's the beef.
Hijacker Spokesperson: ... and what did you expect to happen once you and your ass-kissing bench-warmer candidate Emmanuel were voted out of office?
Joey: Well this looks like some kind of new democracy thingie to embolden/support actual citizen people... nobody on our side can survive with that.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Joey, Joey, Joey... you are a dinosaur. Has-beens like you, Mugabe and Zuma are being tossed out on your ears. You should thank Gawd you still have a head on your shoulders and get out while you can. Maybe you can ask Trump for asylum... he would like you. You could probably work for him as Deputy Secretary at HUD (Housing & Urban Development).
Joey: I am going to have a nervous breakdown.
Click bzzz.......
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