Franklin, Andrews, Kramer & Edelstein

[scion]

Republicans Protest Lack of Rioters on January 6th Commission

By Andy Borowitz
The New Yorker
July 22, 2021
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-protest-lack-of-rioters-on-january-6th-commission

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Casting a dark cloud over the select committee investigating the January 6th insurrection, congressional Republicans protested, in no uncertain terms, the panel’s “utter lack of rioters.”

Leading the charge was House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who called the commission “little more than a gussied-up festival of anti-riot propaganda.”

“Nancy Pelosi’s handpicked Democratic panel members all have one thing in common: none of them took part in the riot,” McCarthy said. “Without an equal number of rioters on the panel, we’ll never get to hear both sides of this thing.”

McCarthy said that he had drawn up a list of potential rioters to serve on the commission, including the “QAnon Shaman,” Jake Angeli.

“I’ve spoken to the Shaman, and he’s up for it,” McCarthy said. “He just got his fur pelts dry-cleaned.”

The House Minority Leader warned Pelosi against proceeding with the commission if it had no rioter representation. “It could have a chilling effect on all future riots,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-protest-lack-of-rioters-on-january-6th-commission