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Putin Says He Has No Intention of Reinstating Trump

“I think if I were planning to put Trump back in power, I would know about it,” the visibly annoyed Putin said.
By Andy Borowitz

Biden Tells Putin He Must Return His Oval Office Keys

By Andy Borowitz

April 14, 2021
Vladimir Putin.
Photograph by Alexei Druzhinin / TASS / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a phone conversation that the White House characterized as “frank,” President Biden told the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, that he had to return his Oval Office keys.

Putin, who reportedly has had the keys since 2017, was taken aback by Biden’s demand, sources said.