SPOOZ Inc (SPZI)

[Gbathat]

I'm taking the liberty to revise the already weird spzi PR (see below) because I am bored and needed a chuckle. I still think we are in a reverse merger situation.

[Please note, this is laced with satire. this is a doctored version of the press release, for comic relief. Though there is perhaps a little truth behind each joke. THIS IS NOT A REAL PRESS RELEASE!!!]

Clearwater, Florida, Where Paul Strickland has been vacationing for the last ten years. - SPOOZ, INC. (yes, we really named the company spooz) is pleased to announce that it has commenced the process to resurrect Spooz, and by resurrect, we mean do nothing, because it was never actually commercialized. The Company has been dormant since 2008 because we were too lazy to do the closeout paperwork, and we always hoped a day like today would come when our lack of follow through would finally pay off.

On January 11, 2021, ten thousand (10,000) shares of SPZI traded in the public marketplace. This event, which involved a whopping $1 trade at the impressive pps of $0.0001, incentivized the Company’s former management, including its former Chairman and CEO, Paul D. Strickland, Jr. and Director and former COO, Errol Stone, as well as the world, to not even notice. However, we are going back in time with this stealthy low-budget PR so that we can claim that at that time we decided to bring Spooz, Inc., current and compliant with any and all federal and state regulatory agencies. That effort is underway and actually did not start until someone started buying a boatload of shares out of nowhere, but we have to pretend like we were dusting off the books before that crazy buying started to avoid suspicion, despite the claims above being completely moronic.

Since January 11, 2021, significant trading volume occurred for SPZI shares, and on April 29, 2021, the volume of shares traded approached 2.2 billion, and that's when we noticed that old spzi shareholders had stalked us down and started bombarding us with emails (darn that internet and people's memory/scars). As of this date (what day is it?), SPZI continues to exhibit significant volume on a daily basis, and I bought and obliterated some champagne yesterday. We are writing this PR to clearly communicate that the Company and its former Officers and Directors have in no way participated in, organized, directed or executed any trading activity in SPZI whatsoever and have derived no benefit from such trading activity, and further, disavow any knowledge, including the identities of the parties engaging in such activity. However, we have mentioned our group of old failed but financially intact shell candidates to every private business owner we've ever met over the last 10 years. And please note that we used the word 'disavow', which basically means we deny it, but that we might be lying. And okay, it is a little dubious to say that we derived no benefit from this trading activity, since we literally just stated that such trading activity allowed us to reopen our doors and encouraged us to dust off our books.

Spooz, Inc., has retained its original VAPORware technology in the form of all technical architecture (they were literally built into excel files because we suck at coding) and specifications for SpoozToolz which must be updated so they might actually be useful. Spooz former Officers and Directors believe the SpoozToolz technology to be as relevant in today’s marketplace as when originally developed, especially given that it was not actually ever relevant, and considering the advent of electronic trading of digital assets (including, but not limited to, cryptocurrencies, where we just lost 50% of our investments in one week due to Elon). Mr. Strickland stated, “I am exceedingly pleased that we may have an opportunity to complete what we began at Spooz years ago and look forward to an exciting future for the Company and its loyal and patient and gullible shareholders. However, there can be no assurances, expressed or implied, that we will be able to accomplish our goals.” That's jargon for "we have no intent of operating this company, but we want to get the financials current so the the real business people that know how to close deals and make money through actual sales of products can occupy this shell."

You all are probably wondering how many shares we have still. That will be disclosed in the filings, which will probably be presented 30 seconds before the change in ownership. We're pretending to reopen so as to entice new buyers and up our exit fee. Hopefully we all come out a little ahead, so please don't be mad at us

Forward looking and rearview revising statements...
blah blah blah blah

Now that I've written this satirical version, I'm not sure it any less comical than the original PR which you can find at https://www.issuewire.com/spooz-inc-to-become-compliant-with-otc-markets-reporting-obligations-1699560188962288

glta