OT (passing this on -- not my creation)
FOR IMMEDIATE SALE:
a.. Open topped tour bus (ideal for hubristic "Victory Parade" or similar)
b.. Four-hour booking of Trafalgar Square (booked months ago, now not required)
c.. 2 tonnes of confetti (used once only)
d.. 10,000 copies of CD recording of 'Jerusalem' sang by English cricket team (need to offload ASAP; make good coasters)
e.. Autobiography book deal "How Good Am I??" with top London publisher (no longer required)
f.. 40,000 miniature Union Jack flags (pre-ordered, now no takers)
g.. Box full of MBEs, OBEs and other miscellaneous gongs (can't find anyone to pin them on)
h.. Trophy cabinet (empty, used for only 14 months and won't be needed again)
i.. Smug, self-satisfied smirk (recently wiped off) (no buyers in Australia, they all already have one)
j.. Weekend for 2 at the exclusive 'Marcus Trescothick Private Retreat and Health Spa' (absolute seclusion guaranteed)
Everything must go!!
All serious offers considered!!
Enquiries to:
Mr F Flintoff
England & Wales Cricket Board
Lord's
London NW8 8QZ
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. - Carl Sagan
