For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:
· A day without sunshine is like...night.
· On the other hand, you have different fingers.
· 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
· 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
· Remember, half the people you know are below average.
· He who laughs last thinks slowest.
· Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
· The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
· Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
· A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
· Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
· If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
· How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
· OK, so what's the speed of dark?
· When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
· Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
· Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
· How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
· Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
· What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
· I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
· Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
· Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
· Life isn't like a box of chocolates.. it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn you tomorrow.
AI
