Katanga Mining Limited (KAT)

[Dr_Vonschellan]

Zoom Zoom... Zoom Zoom
Zoom Vladimir: Privet Donald, congratulations on you and Mitch sweet talking $2.2 trillion out of the gullible americanski taxpayers. Are you going to pay off your overdue loans to Deutsche Bank (and ultimately back to us Russkies) now?
Zoom Jinping: Vlad, we are here on Zoom to talk about happy things... you can talk to the Donald about his debts to you later on after we agree on how to divide up the DRC.
Zoom Donald: This Zoom thing is a bitch to operate... am I supposed to push this big red button in the middle of my desk at the White House for you two to hear me now?
Zoom MBS: Why in the focksake am I here? I got enough work to do right here in Saudi Arabia... and besides I don't need any more Africans from DRC. I got more than enough of them already chained up working down in the basement.
Zoom Vladimir: Cool it raghead... you're here in case the ghost of Jamal Khashoggi shows up on this Zoom conference call and we need someone to "entertain" him for an hour.
Zoom Jinping: Vlad! MBS! Settle down, settle down you two, this is not a Zoom conference to hammer out crude oil production quotas... that Zoom conference call is for next Monday.
Zoom Vladimir: OK OK, listen Donald, we and China (or Cheyna as you say) pulled out of Venezuela click here to give you a free shot at that blowhard tinpot whacko Maduro. We need you to now reduce your embassy staff and the number of CIA spooks in DRC in order to grease the skids for our upcoming land/power grab on some key minerals including cobalt and then copper so we can properly sheet on that midget Pinera (and those old-geezer legacy Pinochet fascists) in Chile which Jinping will happily supervise.
Zoom Donald: Ooops, I just pushed the big red button in the middle of my desk. But not to fear for us here, Kellyanne tells me that red button was connected to the missiles aimed at Iran.
Zoom MBS: OMIGOD. I have to hang up and go prep our missiles for launch now.
Zoom Vladimir: Donald, we gave you Venezuela in exchange for the DRC. Do we have a deal or not?
Zoom Jinping: Yeah Donald, I need to know before I hang up on this Zoom call today.
Zoom Donald: Yeah, we got a deal. You two can divide up DRC as you see fit... I've also got plenty of DRC Africans down in my basement/clubs/cotton-fields already. I (ie WE) don't need any more. I just want a 20% discount on all future cobalt shipments to America for our DARPA drone/missiles/killer-robot/shoot-around-a-corner-rifle toys.
Zoom Vladimir: OK, a 20% discount is fine.
Zoom Jinping: Ditto, 20% is acceptable.
Zoom Donald: Then we got another fine wonderful tremendous fabulous deal. Let me push this big red button one more time to celebrate.

Click click

Zoom Bibi (in Israel): Did someone just launch a sheetload of missiles at Iran? WTF... I thought the deal was that I was supposed to get a 60 minute happy-face pre-notification on my TikTok or Twitter-thingie