It Snowed Last Night!!!...
8:00am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snowwoman.
8:15 - So, I made a snowwoman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snowwoman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snowwomen everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man / woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow-person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snowwoman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CNN & MSNBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
I replied "Snowballs",..
and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices.
My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
Moral:
There is no moral to this story.
This is because a few snowflakes fell in my neighborhood.
Cheers
Avast ye Mateys, a statement of plunder is not upon ye,
only missing sails & lazy seamanship upon thy keel.
