The Marine....
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Katy Couric, and a tough old U.S. Marine
Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the
terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request
before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of
hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "Oh
Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied
the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag
Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could
now die peacefully.
Ms. Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till
the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder
and Couric dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die
happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol
from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting
confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and
sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either
dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Couric, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them
to kick you in the ass first?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three report that I
was the aggressor?!?"
AI
