SLEEKSCAPE'S 2022 CANNABIS & MARIJUANA MANIA GRAND SALAMI -- PART II

[sleekscape]

THE FIX IS IN


The setting is Capitol Hill in late September.

While on lunch break before the afternoon session, Mitch takes an elevator down to the basement and wanders through one of the long corridors with a hot pastrami on rye in hand, just delivered by Uber Eats. Getting tired of the ribbing from his buddies about his weight and high cholesterol, he’s looking for a quiet place to eat in peace. Mitch locates the perfect spot to chow down and begins to punch in the code to enter the room.

Dr. Scott Gottlieb, who had swung by to visit some old pals at the FDA and in Congress, is also strolling though the basement of the Capitol Building. He has just exited the most private bathroom in DC after dropping a serious deuce. Rocking AirPods and staring down at his phone, Scott is watching a video clip of his recent appearance on Fox Business to discuss the FDA’s regulatory framework options for CBD. He has some time to kill before a 4:00 PM meeting at the Heritage Foundation and spots Mitch starting to unwrap his sandwich while fumbling with the keypad next to the door handle.

Scott: “I remember the code, let me take care of that for you.”

Mitch: “Thanks Doc.”

They both enter the room and Mitch closes the door behind them, temporarily changing the code so nobody else will be able to unlock the door for the next 60 minutes. There are a few couches and different types of recliners in the room. Scott plops down on a sleek, modern grey fabric couch while Mitch chooses an ancient-looking chocolate brown recliner, kicking off his shoes.

Scott: “That smells really delicious. Corned Beef?”

Mitch: “Close enough. Let’s get high, bro.”

Scott: “On CBD? You know my dog really loves that stuff.”

Mitch: “No, let’s hit the pipe, Scottie.”

Scott reaches into his inside jacket pocket and pulls out his stash and grinder, deftly packing a bowl as Mitch looks on, admiring his dexterity.

Scott takes a few rips before passing it to Mitch.

Mitch takes a half-dozen pulls while scarfing down his sandwich.

Scott: “I’m so glad I left the FDA, those guys are a bunch of tightwads.”

Mitch: “I used to be a cheap dork, too. It took me awhile to figure out the game in DC, there’s a definite learning curve.”

Just then there’s a knock at the door. Mitch motions to Scott to be quiet and gets up to investigate without opening the door.

Mitch: “Who is it?”

Female voice: “It’s me.”

Mitch opens the door and Bethany Gomez walks in. She is wearing a lot of perfume and 4 inch pumps.

Mitch: “You want some of this, it’s really groovy.”

Bethany: “No thanks, I just dropped a monster edible 2 hours ago and it’s kicking my ass right now so I’m good.”

Scott: “Hello Miss Gomez, what have you been up to these days?”

Bethany: “I think you’re really hot, Scott.”

Mitch: “So does my wife.”

Scott: “What’s your latest model projecting for CBD?”

Bethany: “$50B by 2023, I don’t get why everybody lowballs this sector.”

Scott: “That’s why I had to leave the FDA. Only an absolute moron would pass up this fortune.”

Mitch: “Who’s gonna leave next?”

Scott: “Lowell and Amy, they’re still paying off school loans haha.”

Bethany: “Lowell is so hot.”

Mitch: “My wife thinks so, too.”

Scott: “I don’t feel so sexy anymore.”

Bethany: “Are you going to go on Bloomberg next?”

Scott: “Oh yeah, I’m not done making the rounds yet.”

Mitch’s timer on his phone goes off.

Mitch: “I need to run, gotta head back to the Chamber.”

Scott: “Me too, I don’t feel safe in here without you, Mitch.”

Bethany: “Very funny, Scott.”

Mitch, Scott and Bethany exit the room and walk down the corridor together. They arrive at the elevators and Mitch presses the button to go up. The elevator dings and the doors swing open. Senator Chuck Grassley walks out with Lowell Schiller and Dr. Amy Abernethy.

Chuck: “I really like your new cologne Mitch, smells like a fresh forest.”

As one trio enters the elevator to go up, the other trio exits and begins walking down the basement corridor.

Lowell: “Ok Chuck, Amy and I need to break away now, we have some important things to discuss.”

Chuck: “Ok Lowell, have a good one. You too, Amy.”

Amy and Lowell walk down the corridor and stop outside a door.

Amy: “Do you remember the code?”

Lowell: “Yeah, I got this.”

Amy and Lowell enter the room and survey the seating options. Lowell chooses the old chocolate recliner and Amy settles on the grey fabric couch.

Amy: “It smells really nice in here.”

Lowell: “It sure does.”

Amy: “So when do you think we should leave, so it’s not too obvious?”


Credits

Mitch

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/mitch-mcconnell-drug-warrior-cbd-champion-667089/


Scott

Bethany

https://www.brightfieldgroup.com/team/bethany-gomez

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/new-study-cbd-market-22-billion-2022-722852/


Chuck

https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4735477/sen-grassley-opposes-hemp-legalization-farm-bill-cbd

https://www.theroc.us/blog/1981-farm-bill-passes-no-grassley-amendment


Lowell

https://www.fda.gov/about-fda/fda-organization/lowell-schiller


Amy

https://www.fda.gov/about-fda/fda-organization/amy-abernethy


Sleek