Katanga Mining Limited (KAT)

[Dr_Vonschellan]

Ring Ring
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hello, this is DRC Hijacker's Emporium the main headquarters... please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. What can I do for you?
Joey: Let me talk to the agent code-named Dan.
Hijacker Spokesperson Switchboard: Hold for a moment please while I connect you to Moscow.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello?
Joey: This is Joey.
Hijacker Spokesperson: ... wasssup?
Joey: Are we cool with Vladimir now?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Yeah, I had to wash and wire via jewish banks 7 million of the 10 million you gave me to the attorney for Jeffrey Epstein in New York. It appears sneaky Jeffrey has a couple of videos in his Paris vault of some big wig from New York getting his jollies off with a 14 year old girl to rejoin the mile-high club on a private jet. Vlad wants to make sure with the 7 Mil cash payoff that the secret videos of his NY buddy don't make it onto YouTube before November 2020. So why the call today?
Joey: I am super depressed. I don't dare leave the country. Felix and Martin have fallen in love and nearly all the miners in the DRC Mining Week meeting in Lubumbshi have figured out how to circumvent my testicle-twisting extortion... and over half of my paid thugs are ditching their guns, dressing up like queers and now pretending to be peace-loving non-violent homos since their revered ass-kicking icon Bosco Ntaganda has plead guilty to war crimes.
Hijacker Spokesperson:... and what exactly is it that you want me and our organization to do?
Joey: I need you and your thieving little nerdy Israeli buddies to put the money you liberated or hid back in my offshore bank accounts so I can pay to stir up a whole new batch of evil shit and chaos in DRC.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Ha ha ha... Joey Joey Joey, you always can make me laugh and feel good about our good Samaritan work in the Africa.
Joey: Soooo? Can you help me? I will give you 1 billion green USA as soon as you reestablish my offshore accounts.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Nothing has changed for you Joey. You made your bed during the last election against my advice, so now you're going to sleep in it.

Click... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz