Weird, Funny News & Jokes

[Telephonics]

YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY IN THIS GAME. JUST ASK MY EX-WIVES. BOTH OF THEM ARE SO RICH THAT NEITHER OF THEIR HUSBANDS WORK. - Lee Trevino

THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HEAD DOWN - PLAY GOLF AND PRAY. - Lee Trevino

A LITTLE GIRL WAS AT HER FIRST GOLF LESSON WHEN SHE ASKED AN INTERESTING QUESTION: "IS THE WORD SPELLED P-U-T OR P-U-T-T?" SHE ASKED THE INSTRUCTOR. "P-U-T-T IS CORRECT" HE REPLIED, "PUT MEANS TO PLACE A THING WHERE YOU WANT IT. PUTT MEANS MERELY A VAIN ATTEMPT TO DO THE SAME THING."

ART SAID HE WANTED TO GET MORE DISTANCE. I TOLD HIM TO HIT IT AND RUN BACKWARD. - Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum

THE ONLY THING IN MY BAG THAT WORKS IS THE BUG SPRAY. - Bruce Lansky

GOLF IS A GAME IN WHICH THE SLOWEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU, AND THE FASTEST ARE THOSE BEHIND.

I'VE HAD A GOOD DAY WHEN I DON'T FALL OUT OF THE CART. - Buddy Hackett

RELAX? HOW CAN ANYBODY RELAX AND PLAY GOLF? YOU HAVE TO GRIP THE CLUB, DON'T YOU? - Ben Hogan

GOLF IS WHAT YOU PLAY WHEN YOU'RE TOO OUT OF SHAPE TO PLAY SOFTBALL.

I FOUND OUT THAT ALL THE IMPORTANT LESSONS OF LIFE ARE CONTAINED IN THE THREE RULES FOR ACHIEVING A PERFECT GOLF SWING:
1. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.
2. FOLLOW THROUGH.
3. BE BORN WITH MONEY