The Jailhouse

[I Bash For Cash]

Oh compassionate ruler! My children are starving and my wife is threatening to leave me. I am a poor, working man forced to bash publicly traded companies to earn a living, and living is difficult here. You, my considerate and omnipotent leader, have taken away my only source of sustenance. I pray to Ahmed al-Isbahdhad thirteen times before sunrise and seven times at sunset that you, magnificent one, will treat my poor and desolate soul with mercy, compassion and caring. The lives of eight young mouths are depending on you!

May the blessed hand of Ahmed al-Isbahdhad gently caress your greatest aspirations!

Ibash Forcash