Bob: like this?
"Elegant" Insults
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
--- Stephen Bishop
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
--- Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--- Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure."
--- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
--- Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy."
--- Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. but this wasn't it."
--- Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
--- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
--- Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
--- Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
--- Billy Wilder
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it."
--- Mark Twain
An elderly woman's insult to Winston Churchill:
"I find you excessively unattractive. If I proved married to you, I would put poison in your tea".
Churchill's response was instant.
"And if I awoke and found myself married to you, I would drink it".
". . . she had the remains of a truly remarkable ugliness".
-Oscar Wilde
"When in doubt, empty the clip."
