Katanga Mining Limited (KAT)

[Dr_Vonschellan]

Ring Ring
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello, this is DRC Hijacker's Emporium the main headquarters... please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. What can I do for you?
Joey: Let me talk to the agent code-named Dan.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hold for a moment please.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello.
Joey: My good man, how are you? Did you sleep well last night? How's the kids?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Joey, Joey, Joey... tick, tick, tick... tick, tick, tick... Looks like a lot of your paper IOUs are coming due in another 15 days according to our H&R Block spies/accountants watching your sheet for us.
Joey: Well yes... that is a bit of concern to me. Actually I need to convert a few of those pre-election-issued IOUs into cash on Tuesday, (Click here for possible outcome video) which Is why I need your help now.
Hijacker Spokesperson: No can do in the help department, I suggest you just hop on a plane and fly to the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and to the Trump Bank/Screen-Door-Company in DC, place your fingerprints or your pecker print on the password scanner machine glass and reset your password.
Joey: Oh silly boy, we both know I don't dare leave this sheethole as Trump has so eloquently described it. Once I cross the border out of here I will never get back in... that is, if a land to air missile doesn't take me out of the sky first.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Then go find a clone of yourself, sew your hand or your pecker on him and send him overseas to unlock the password on all your secret offshore accounts.
Joey: You know we don't have qualified hand and/or pecker transplant surgeons in Kinshasa and besides I can't trust any clone impersonator from Africa much less from here... he'll probably take all the money leaving me zilch-ola. I want your Dick Gregory impersonator to be my clone and go reset the safety deposit passwords.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Why?
Joey: Better the devil I know than the devil I don't know. 31% of my overseas stolen loot is better than 0% of my overseas stolen loot.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Good point. But MLK Day is Monday and with the upcoming non-violent protests (ha-ha-ha, yeah right) coming up here the Hijackers High council has decided it would be best if we all chill out for the next two weeks. After the African Council leaves DRC and our security protection unit is furloughed then I am thinking about kicking back at the crib and watching you squirm for the next two weeks on TV.
Joey: The Hijackers High Council isn't thinking about pushing the red button on that remote exploding device secretly buried somewhere in my miserable carcass... are they?
Hijacker Spokesperson: No. They still think you are going to find Jesus and in an epiphany figure out it is best to hand over all the true unadulterated voting results to the people/courts before long.
Joey: Now why would I do that?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Because if you don't come clean now then in the next 2023 election every nasty dishonest scummy despicable trick you pulled in this 2018 election will be employed against you to defeat you in your third try for President.
Joey: Geez, I have a huge headache now... I need some water and a hooker or two.

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