Ring Ring
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello, this is DRC Hijacker's Emporium the main headquarters... please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. What can I do for you?
Joey: Let me talk to the agent code-named Dan.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hold for a moment please whilst I patch you through to the agent in Israel.
Ring Ring
Hijacker Spokesperson: Hello.
Joey: Israel? Why aren't you back in DRC finalizing our agreement?
Hijacker Spokesperson: First, because your gofer-boy lackey hasn't made the announcement on his intentions for mining royalties. Second, because you are interfering in the Constitutional Court process, and third because we're now also handling back-up stealth undercover security for the President of the African Union's visit to DRC on Monday and I needed to procure some additional hi-tech equipment in Israel to keep him ultra-ultra safe.
Joey: Who is playing Felix in the upcoming Netflix made-for-TV movie?
Hijacker Spokesperson: If Felix grows a pair of testicles and protests to the Constitutional Court how your party outright stole a majority of seats in Parliament during the election... then General Colin Powell will play Felix with dignity, intelligence and solid honorable character. If Felix rolls over, butt up in the air and lets you walk all over him then Rupaul will play him (Felix) in corresponding drag.
Joey: Yeow, Carter is tough.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Carter simply wants to tell the truth in this movie.
Joey: Any chance you could possibly bring one or two of those gorgeous leggy Russian emigre hookers from Tel Aviv with you on your way back here if I give you a signed royally-stamped IOU right now over the fax machine?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Joey, Joey, Joey... your IOUs are even worth less than they were on Thursday when they were no longer worth the paper they are written on and like I said before...You and I both know that. Bye.
Joey: But not everyone everywhere everytime knows my IOUs are crap now... maybe we could...
Click... bzzzz. This telephone call is no longer active. If you would like to make a call then please hang up and try again.
