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OUR NEW CONGRESS IS WORKING HARD


Democrats are introducing
legislation that will provide new benefits for many more
Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act
is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of
the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and
ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans
do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve
out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said
California Senator Kamala Harris. “We can no longer stand
by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and
passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer
be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers,
simply because they have some idea of what they are
doing.”

In a Capitol Hill press
conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S.
Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of
providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the
state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles
also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No
Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans with No
Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will
be created, with important-sounding titles but little real
responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
and performance.

Finally, the Americans With No
Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning,
for example, discriminatory interview questions such as,
“Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this
job?”

“As a non-abled person, I
can’t be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost
her position as a lug-nut twister at the Toyota plant in
Georgetown, KY due to her inability to remember “righty
tighty , lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real
good for people like me. I’ll finally have job
security.”

“With the passage of this bill,
Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally
see a light at the end of the tunnel,” said Senator. Dick
Durbin. “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the
same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be
extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty
as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen,
regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space
to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing
so.”