Katanga Mining Limited (KAT)

[Dr_Vonschellan]

Ring Ring
Pilot: Hello?
Joey: Hello Captain Pilot... this is Joey.
Pilot: Yes Your Highness, what is our new plan?
Joey: SADC is getting ready to nail my twice-baptized black & blue butt to the wall with an election voting recount. Shadary has already lost so the recount is just for Felix and Martin to win. I need more green cash to bribe the new vote counters to "fix" the results for Felix. We need to leave by plane for the Cayman Islands, or Switzerland or the Trump Bank/Screen-Door-Company in DC where I have secret safety deposit boxes.
Pilot: I understand fully Your Highness. Just send some money to the airport here and I will rent a new escape plane.
Joey: Dear Captain Pilot, I am temporarily out of cash. By any chance do you have any money we could use? (Famous last words: I will gladly pay you back Tuesday for a flight out today).
Pilot: Your Highness, with my credit cards and the money in my wallet left over from the wedding to Marlena I have just enough money to rent a Cessna 172.
Joey: How far can we fly in a Cessna 172?
Pilot: 740 miles if the weather is perfect, no headwinds and there is just us two in the cockpit with none of your fat groupie chicks for in the backseats for happy time "fun".
Joey: If I draw a 740 mile radius around Kinshasa there is not one single friendly African country we can land in to refuel for a second trip onto Switzerland.
Pilot: Wow, now that is indeed a huge logistical problem.
Joey: I know.
Hijacker Spokesperson: click click... (hack break-in to the telephone call) Joey, Joey, Joey... I need to point out to you two rummies that we have several USA-made/Israeli-modified Hellfire drones circling over the airport. You ain't going anywhere.
Joey: Dan? Is that you Dan?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Well it ain't Rudy Giuliani. Listen Joey, We have found a comedic impersonator of the hilarious American Dick Gregory (when he was chubby and a very funny stand-up comedian) who has agreed to take on your identity and travel to your overseas banks to get you some cash.
Joey: But how will he withdraw the cash from the banks without the passwords?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Simple. We will cut off either your hand or your penis and surgically impeccably sew it onto the Dick Gregory paid impersonator to pretend he is now you. We will fly him to your 3 banks, reset the passwords with your fingers or penis print, withdraw all the money. You will get 25% of the money and 74% will be returned to the DRC Treasury to build schools, hospitals, roads, infrastructure, and high speed broadband country-wide to better download movies/shows/Facebook and TYT.
Joey: Where does the last 1% go?
Hijacker Spokesperson: That is our handling charge for straightening out your mess.
Joey: How long do I have to think on this latest offer?
Hijacker Spokesperson: Your current deadline for an answer regarding your pink-colored with powder-blue polka-dots padlocked strongbox labelled Joey/Entourage's PECUNIARY AFFAIRS runs out Monday morning. Let's agree to set both deadlines for your answers to be the same.
Joey: I see.
Hijacker Spokesperson: Click.
Pilot: Your highness... I think it best we forget about the Cessna 172 escape plane.
Click (Silence)