Ring Ring
Pilot: Hellllooooo?
Joey: Hello Captain Pilot... this is Joey.
Pilot: Your Highness, what day is it?
Joey: It's late Saturday.
Pilot: I think I have been drugged with Ruffies again Your Highness.
Joey: Yes you were. You got thirsty at the bar and stupidly finished off your old drink that Marlena spiked the first time you met that sexy Ruffie-dispensing Gal Gadot doppelganger girl.
Pilot: Ooooo that might explain the new wedding ring I am wearing now.
Joey: Wedding ring? What's going on there?
Pilot: When I came to there was a handwritten note tucked in my hand... it reads
"Dear Captain Pilot, even though you have a small penis (esp by DRC standards... but not by Israeli standards) your superior carpet munching skill has won my heart, we are husband and wife now. In the prenuptial you signed you agree not to ask me about the hijackers and I agreed not to give you anymore Ruffies. Bibi has summoned me back to Israel for consultations, there are Israeli Hellfire drones flying over your head my love watching the airport 24/7 so everything is kosher there for the time being. Don't leave, I will return soon. Love Marlena".
Can things get any worse for us Your Highness?
Joey: Yes, someone has hacked the password on my secret bank safe-boxes in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and Trump-Bank/Screen-Door-Company in DC... and those 20 Catholic priests with their countless reams of notarized "polling station observer" reports are banging on my office door again. They're saying my first gang-baptismal didn't "take" and they need to baptize me one more time.
Pilot: Holy smokes. What are we going to do Your Highness?
Joey: We need to fly to the Cayman Islands and let the bankers take my 5 fingerprints or a fresh penis print to match up with my original record set... they call it the 5/1 prints password reset procedure.
Pilot: But why the rush Your Highness in flying now to the bank? Won't they just freeze everything for you?
Joey: Because I need more green cash today. These CENI/Felix guys have drained me completely and I will be totally out of "walking-around/bribing cash" by Monday with all my padlocked strong-boxes having been hijacked inside the Ebola de-cootie-ized escape plane.
Pilot: Ohhhh this is terrible Your Highness.
Joey: And you ain't just whistling Dixie... let me talk to Dan.
Pilot: Dan?... Dan who?
... to be continued
