AlanC, neither FINRA, nor TD Ameritrade, give a rip about any theories about ENSSFM, or magical fantasy dividends that the rest of the planet has moved on from.
As far as "Dividends of 3400%+are worth waiting for," I have good news! You have the rest of your life to wait for that 3,400%+ dividend. And, if you have any children who are drinking the same Kool-Aid, their lifetimes as well.