Ascent Solar Technologies Inc (ASTI)

[ayce_warren_buffett]

You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it

The name's MazelTov, Adolf Mazeltov. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Petrone Worldwide idea.

No! Tell us the idea! <screeeetch>

All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the ASTI....thing!

I've sold ASTI to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!

Well, sir, there's nothin' on Earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six one-thousandths of one cent! What'd I say?

ASTI thing!

What's it called?

ASTI thing.

That's right!

ASTI thing!

ASTI...ASTI...ASTI...

I hear those things are awfully shitty.

I'll give you unrelated links and call them pretty!

Is there a chance the ASTI could go kaput?

Not on your life, I'd bet my autistic foot!

What about us brain-dead slobs?

ASTI is perfect while you touch your knobs.

Were you sent here by the devil?

No, good sir, I read on a fourth-grade level.

The ring came off my pudding can.

Take my mom's meth pipe, you air quotes "man".

I swear, it's you white trash's only choice!

Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

ASTI...

What's it called?

ASTI...

Once again!

ASTI!

But my face is still all cracked and broken.

Sorry pizza delivery driver, the mob has spoken!

ASTI....

ASTI!!!!!

ASTI!!!!!!!!!!

AS—D'oh!