Economic Collapse

[basserdan]

The Shinola Hits the Fanhola

Monday, January 15, 2018


In a later statement, the President clarified that he "loves savages. Great, great people."

Donald Trump sparked eye-popping, vein-bulging outrage from liberals (that's actually an opening phrase we're programming into our computer to save keystrokes for the next 3-7 years) by allegedly asking, in a meeting about special immigration protections for certain populations, "why do we want people from shithole countries?"

Because the reference was to Haiti and various African nations, the President was immediately accused of blatant, foam-at-the-mouth, KKK-style racism. An accusation which filled the news cycles and distracted from the real question: why do we want people from shithole countries?

Is our immigration policy intended to make America better (or at least no worse), or simply to give shelter and haven - and taxpayer-funded benefits - to those who currently live someplace worse than the United States? Which pretty much means every man, woman, and child on Earth, making such a goal impossible in the long run and societally suicidal in the immediate run.

We're tired of the argument that it's necessary to bring in the unskilled and uneducated to do the jobs "Americans won't do," and think we should revamp our current entitlement programs to make it clear to the able-bodied who simple prefer not to work that it's no longer an option.

We'll admit that the President might have spoken more tactfully about Haiti, but his question was a good one. Why should we import people from an island that can't do anything right, when we already have an island that can't do anything right...


The Aloha State of panic

On Saturday, palm trees swayed in tropical breezes, warm surf washed pristine beaches, and tourists in Hawaii wept, screamed, cowered in fear, and stuffed their children into storm drains because of an "oopsy" alert (delivered to phones, radio stations, and wailing sirens) saying the island paradise was about to be vaporized by incoming nuclear missiles.

We single out "tourists" as being terrified rather than actual citizens of Hawaii, because those who have lived there for longer than a week already know the Aloha State's ill-kept secret: local government officials screw up pretty much everything they touch, so the odds of a false alarm were (as Trump might say) yuge.

We have plenty of personal experience with Hawaii from which to draw this conclusion. The state, which is almost psychedelically beautiful, has several factors working against it. The first is that it's essentially a jungle, with rainwater, vines, lizards, and highly aggressive insect colonies attacking every manmade bit of infrastructure on a non-stop basis.

The second is that all government functions are run by aloha-shirted Democrats and can't-be-fired civil servants, all of whom have a uniquely Hawaiian year-around "Spring fever" which keeps them from really committing to work when the weather is nice. As in, "daily."

While overt public terror is nothing to laugh at, except from the mainland, things could have been a lot worse: imagine what was going through the minds of our military personnel who were wondering if they should quickly launch a counterattack before going out in a Slim Pickens-style blaze of glory ( https://tinyurl.com/ybdhb78s ).

Theoretically, all of this was caused by one person "pushing the wrong button." Arguably the worst mistake made by a Hawaiian government official since Department of Health official Loretta Fuddy stated that she (and she alone) had looked at Obama's birth certificate and sent him a copy.

Shortly after which, she became the only fatality in a plane crash ( https://tinyurl.com/y74cn43z ). Oopsy.

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