The Jailhouse

[BullNBear52]

OmegaMan, I must apologize for my posts of yesterday. After careful research I have discovered that you suffer from a medical condition.

A Major Cause of Idiocy: Cranial Colitis!

Cranial Colitis - A debilitating condition characterized by compression of the brain by the inflamed walls of the colon, interfering with reason and judgement. This condition, which has been known to be contagious, is most often caused by a violent insertion of the cranium into the colon by passing it upward through the rectum. The term 'Cranial Colitis' was first coined by Soxfan.
Cranial colitis is not incurable, though curing it is difficult, especially in its advanced stages. The most effective cure is often the most violent. Called a Reality Check, the cure is best applied suddenly and forcefully, all the better if unexpectedly. Placing the hands around the victim's neck and bracing the feet against the buttocks, then yanking with all one's might, is often adequate. Shock therapy, such as showing a victim their reflection in a mirror to force them to look at themselves and their condition, may also bring about a Reality Check, though eyesight is often impaired by this condition. In severe cases, the reality check must be applied several times before it begins to take effect. In rarer cases, the victim has been known to extract its cranium by applying its own Reality Check.

Cranial colitis may be caused by a number of factors. Certainly heredity plays a large part. People with low cranial capacity from birth and/or an unusual colorectal fixation may develop this condition more readily than others. Additionally, some research has suggested that cranial colitis may be linked to hormonal conditions, as many men and women have been noticed developing severe cases immediately after falling in love with POS penny stocks. Most people experience a mild form of cranial colitis at least once while in their early stages of investing in the stock market.