HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16-18 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
