Enjoy this humor, I hope not fact!!!
Idiots of 2005
Number One Idiot of 2005
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2005
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2005
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2005
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his
$40.
Smartass... but you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2005
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in abag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't
believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of
his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2005
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2005
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made
of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.)
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