TRUMP SAYS HE WILL SUE EVERYONE IN WISCONSIN
Milwaukee - In a sharply-worded post-election threat on Tuesday night, Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump said he intended to sue the entire population of Wisconsin "for everything it's worth".
In his terse remarks, Trump departed from the customs of political speeches by failing to congratulate the evening's winner or his supporters, instead warning the people of Wisconsin to "lawyer up".
"By the time I get through with you, I am going to own you, lock, stock and barrel", he said. "Not that I want to own it. Wisconsin is a freaking dump".
In announcing the lawsuit, which he said he'd make the state of Wisconsin pay for, Trump denied he is a poor loser. "I am a fabulous loser", he said. "I am the biggest loser in this country".
-Andy Borowitz
