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Hey Penny Friends! Here are a few jokes

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stockefeller   Friday, 07/14/06 04:33:57 PM
Re: None
Post # of 71721 
Hey Penny Friends! Here are a few jokes to start your weekend!

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
>>values.
>>
>>Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
>>
>>Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?
>>----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
>>intelligence come from?"
>>
>>The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother,
>>cause
>>I still have mine"
>>
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>>"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court
>>Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
>>
>>"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then
>>I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
>>
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like
>>the looks of your wife at all,"
>>
>>"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really
>>good
>>with the kids."
>>
>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>>An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
>>been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you
>>will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
>>you.'
>>
>>The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
>>
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>>Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
>>
>>1. All the DNA is the same.
>>
>>2. There are no dental records.
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>>A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
>>take
>>to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
>>
>>The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
>>
>>"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
>>
>>
>>....................................................................
>>
>>Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
>>
>>
>>"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
>>
>>"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a
>>golf gun?"
>>
>>"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
>>
>>
>>.......................................................................
>>
>>The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
>>casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And
>>then you dump the stock.
>>
>>.......................................................................
>>
>>This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
>>the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best
of
>>him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
>>
>>The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by
>>buying
>>me a drink."
>>
>>
>>.......................................................................
>>
>>Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
>>
>>Joe: "Really?"
>>
>>Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
>>
>>.....................................................................
>>
>>A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
>>
>>"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in
>>surgery," he answered.
>>
>>"What did he say?" asked the nurse.
>>
>>"OOPS!"
>>
>>......................................................................
>>
>>
>>While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
>>bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I
>>had
>>even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
>>
>>"What do you think? " I asked.
>>
>>"Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
>>
>>"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
>>
>>......................................................................
>>
>>
>>Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn

>>by
>>mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
>>
>>He said, "I did that by accident."
>>
>>She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
>>
>>He replied, "How did you know?"
>>
>>She said, "Because you didn't say 'Asshole' afterwards."
>>



Do your own DD. I'm not responsible for anything I say.
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