The Top 16 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western
16. "As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against participating in
that showdown in the middle of town. The liability issues are staggering."
15. "Well me, the construction worker, and my sailor buddy are here to tell
y'all, it's *fun* to go to the YMCA!"
14. "Take it from me, Festus, a good pair o' nylons keeps the chaps from
riding up."
13. "Barkeep! Three more Slippery Nipples for my posse."
12. "Miss Kitty, I don't think I've ever seen stirrups used quite like that
before."
11. "In this town we got a way to deal with murderin' scum like you, Bart --
civil litigation!"
10. "Whose turn is it to change the potpourri in the bunkhouse?"
9. "Well, men, the Apaches have burned down our fort and stolen our women...
but considering what we've done to THEM, I think they're showing remarkable
self-restraint."
8. "You had me at 'Howdy.'"
7. "Yeah, I'm sure he was an Indian -- his name was Amandip Gupta."
6. "That's *Sheriff* Richard Simmons to you, pardner."
5. "I cain't go in the saloon! Brown Bart's wearin' the same shirt I'm
a-wearin'!"
4. "They call me... Moesha."
3. "Dadgummit, boys, slow down on that vichyssoise or you ain't gonna have
no room for the tiramisu!"
2. "Three to five day waiting period? But I got a duel at sundown!"
and the Number 1 Line You'll Never Hear in a Western...
1. "reach 4 the sky! :-O put all ur $$$ in the bag, lol."
