He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into a
waterfront bar that afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and
cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano
Player Wanted" sign from the window and gave it to
the bartender. "I'd like to apply for the job," he said.
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful
looking old guy, but it had been awhile since he
had a piano player and business was falling off.
"What do you do?" he asked. "I'm retired," was the
answer. "As a matter of fact, I'm a retired Chief Petty
Officer but since I retired I've done nothing but drink,
chase broads and play the piano. Now, really unsure,
the barkeep decided to give him a try...he really
needed more business.
"The piano is over there...give it a go."
The old man staggered his way over to the piano
and several patrons snickered. But, by the time he
was into the third bar of music, every voice was
silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of sound
and music unlike anyone had ever heard in the bar
before. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye
in the place.
The bartender brought the old guy a beer and told
him that he sounded really, really good. "What do
you call that?" he asked.
"It's called 'Drop Your Skivvies, Baby, We're Gonna
Rock Tonight,'" said the old Chief as he took a long
pull from the beer. The crowd winced along with
the bartender but the piano player went on. "I got
another," ....And he began to play again. What followed
was a knee-slappin,' hand-clappin bit of ragtime that
had the place jumping.
People were coming in from the streets to hear this
guy play. After he finished, the Chief acknowledged
the applause and told the crowd that the song was
called, "Big B00bs Make My Anchor Chain Run Out."
He then excused himself as he lurched off to the
men's room. After thinking a bit, the bartender
decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad he looked
or what his songs were called.
When the guy came out of the men's room, the
bartender went over to tell him he had the job, but
then he noticed that the old man's fly was undone
and his member was hanging out. He said, "Look
Chief, the job is yours but first I gotta ask, do you
know your fly is open and your dick is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the old Chief replied,
"Hell I wrote it!
AI
