An open letter to NNVC stockholders (past, present and/or future):
Dear Long Shareholder:
Please do not be alarmed by the recent and continual drop in share price. You must view this as a glass-half-full type of situation. Please consider the buying opportunities that prevail themselves upon you. For each drop in share price, you are able to purchase a higher number of shares with the same amount of money and, after all, isn't that why you are really in this game: to own the highest number of shares? This will assist you later on (don't ask me when!) as you sell your shares at prices rivaling (I should say surpassing, but I don't want to appear unrealistic) the priciest stocks.
That reverse-split NNVC did a while back was so that it could maintain its position on the Big Board despite share price erosion. And, hey, it's working!! Price is plumetting, but we're still here!! Keep in mind, as long as NNVC is on the NYSE, it doesn't really matter what the price is, as long as you can buy more shares. Possible delisting? C'mon. Are you serious?? Not for at least a month or two!! Plenty of time to sink, er, uh, ahem, 'invest' more money. Yeah, that's it, 'invest.'
You must not let the detractors get to you. They claim that higher share price is really what your goal should be, as if an increase in position is something you should consider as a goal. Laughable. Don't let them fool you!
Just remember to stay positive, no matter how many deadlines are missed or how much information is disclosed or rather, NOT disclosed, ha ha, wink wink ('inside' joke - don't worry, you'll catch on soon enough), or how much money you lose. Hehehehehehehehehehehe.
Remember, keep the faith, you will be rewarded. If not financially, at least with the knowledge that you are allowing Good Doctors and those close to Good Doctors to increase and continue a comfortable lifestyle while millions of people die of terrible diseases every year (After all, shouldn't Good Doctors live in comfort and style while millions suffer?). Rest assured, NNVC is developing 'cides' to cure each and every one of these diseases. Death will be a thing of the past!!! I see incredible, unrealistic and fantastical share prices in the near future. Never you mind that these prices exist in my delusional mind only. Don't be such a pessimist! Were you raised by a pack of Debbie Downers or Negative Nellies!!??
Won't you join me in supporting and enriching the lifestyles of others and not yourselves or your fellow shareholders? Don't be greedy!! Be a Humanitarian!! Donate today!!
As an added incentive, when you donate thousands (preferably tens of thousands) of dollars to this company, you are eligible to join the NNVC Wonderful Mutual Admiration and Cheerleading Karma Optimists Society (WmACKOS), an organization of members whose sole purpose is to 'rally the troops' with terms of endearment and positive-thinking platitudes. You'll be thrilled with the never-ending 'sky's-the-limit' exclamations, 'hey-we've-lost-more-money let's-buy-additional-shares', and 'TOX-is-going-to-be-announced-on-my-mark-wait-for-it' back patting. If you upgrade to the Platinum WmACKOS membership level (by simply bending the knee and swearing fealty to NNVC principals), you'll be able to exchange 'wink-wink', 'tee-hee-hee' and 'we-know-something-that-nobody-else-knows (even-though-we-really-don't-but-we-want-others-to-think-we-do)' banter with fellow members. You'll be able to carry on for years, exclaiming the virtues of this company, hinting daily of grandeur to come. When it doen't materialize, you can just shrug it off and bait the next round of enterpreneurs.
You'll also be able to utilize mock indignation when the detractors call you out. You'll be able to act as if it's a personal affront to you and Good Doctors, almost as if you were in some way closely associated with Good Doctors in a manner that borders on impropriety.
'What color is the sky in my world?', you ask? Why, it's the color of NNVC, of course! Don't make me get busy with specifics, 'cause that ain't gonna happen!! (tee hee, another 'inside' joke) Just take comfort in the knowledge that this baby's going to fly. Why, success is just around the corner. We are on the brink of greatness. [insert fanatical euphemisms of your choice here]. Doesn't matter when, doesn't matter how. Just take my word for it, 'cause that's all you got and all you're going to get! Oh wait, let me obscure the issues further with minutiae, so the 'facts' are obfuscated.
P.S. I am wearing my Hypno-specs as I write this, so you should become anesthetized by my soothing message and unwavering optimism. Please don't ask me from where this optimism is derived, because I won't answer that. It just plain ol' doesn't make any sense and anyway, it's not important. All that's important is that you keep investing. Buy low, buy high. Just buy, buy, buy!! What have you got to lose but your hard-earned money and self-respect. Belay that frustration, me maties!!! We sail on the morrow!!
DISCLAIMER: Always do your own due diligence before investing in any stock. Statements made in this letter may or may not be of a satirical and/or fictional nature.
