LB's - "the edited stock pit"

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To Whom it May Concern

NCAA (Nationally Constantly Academically-Challenged A-Holes) Selection Committee

P.O. Box 911

Clueless, TN 00411



Re: Seedy Seed or Sour Seedless Grapes



Greetings:



First let me just say congratulations on your selections of the number one seeds in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Those were really tough to determine. The entire country had it right before your announcement. That was tough work. I congratulate you also on getting the number of teams correct. Yep 65. Based on the picks, one would wonder if you could get it correct. It is certainly understandable that actually selecting 65 teams while simultaneously counting to 65 could be difficult. Credit should be given for your ability to do both. It must have been difficult to pick 65 with the computer RPIs bouncing around in that smallest of space between your collective ears



Suffice it to say that getting the number one seeds correct (like all of us did) and getting the number of teams correct (65) is about as far as you got it right. You either became bored or confused from there and thus proved once again that your annual spring Sunday selection announcement is truly what make the tournament most commonly known as March Madness – a name best used to described your botchery of the tournament selections and seeds.



Rumor has it that the majority of the 2006 selection committee is comprised of mid-major conference representatives. With your favoritism shown to the Missouri Valley Conference, one would think this majority had some say over the seeds to be sown for the tournament, but yet again, the selection committee has proven that in March, madness runs rampant.



While it is too late for this year’s show, let’s review some simple math to prevent future blunders. First, let’s assume that the coaches in the NCAA actually know a thing or two about the teams against whom they play. Pretty simply so far. Now stay with me. The coaches rank Texas as ninth in the country. Now this is where it gets difficult. There are four regions which means there can only be four number one seeds and four number two seeds or a total of eight teams seeded either 1 or 2 in the tournament. Again, Texas is ranked ninth. Yet you seeded Texas as a number 2 seed. (AND PLAYING THEIR FIRST TWO GAMES IN DALLAS OF ALL PLACES!!!!!!!!) But back to the math. Nine is more than eight. Yes that’s right. Shocking as it may be, eight comes before nine. (Just count to ten on your fingers and you will see what I mean). (LONG PAUSE)



Okay ready. Now continuing along those lines, let’s see where Tennessee is ranked. (Please wait while I scroll way down the coaches poll). Oh there’s Tennessee ranked a whopping number 19. Yet, you seeded Tennessee number 2. Perhaps you simply have a problem with the number 2 or comprehending that there are only 8 teams that can be seeded 2 or higher when you have only four regions. Or perhaps you forgot that you were seeding the NCAA Men’s tournament. Not the lady Volunteers who would probably at least merit a 2 seed or higher. Or perhaps you intended to seed the Lady Volunteers in the Men’s tournament. That would make more sense than giving (and I do mean as in “Gift”) the Tennessee Men’s team a 2 seed.



Now – continuing with the math – Gonzaga was ranked 5 by the most recent coaches poll. A 5 ranking and yet you provided a 3 seeding. Hmmm Do you understand that 5 is less than eight or do we need to go back to the finger counting thing again. Further, 12 (4 regions multiplied by 3) is higher than eight. Perhaps you do not understand Math at all.



So let’s switch to a slightly different method. Stay with me now – Gonzaga played Oklahoma State at Oklahoma State and won. Both Texas & Tennessee played Oklahoma State at Oklahoma State and they both lost. Yet Texas and Tennessee = 2 seed and Gonzaga = 3 seed. Texas lost 6 games. Tennessee lost 7 games. Gonzaga lost 3 games. 6 and 7 are more than 3. Again – I know that is math and it is difficult to understand. Just plug it into your computer and I’ll wait.



Perhaps it’s a color thing. You like orange and you do not like red, white and blue. Now that would make some sense because your selections are about as un-American as they could be. But then again, you let Air Force in. Conclusion… you like orange and the military and teams from the south but not long hair and fuzzy mustaches and teams that win more games than other teams. Now I think we have gotten somewhere. If you would simply let your subjective selection criteria known ahead of time instead of leading teams to assume that silly things like number of losses and poll rankings actually count, everyone would be on the same playing field (or court in this case).



Next year – we all wear orange. Thank you for your time.



Sincerely,



Baffled Zags Fan