Top Ten Reasons Why Matt Has Seemingly Abandoned FryDays
10. He's hoping that if he saves up enough prisoners, he can trade them to RB in a prisoner exchange and get his “FattMatt” alias freed up.
9. Got snubbed by the hottie barmaid in T.G.I.F.’s and this is some sort of perverse revenge upon her. He does tend to project his dating frustrations onto the community, you know. Remember when he tried to change the “Question and Answer” board to the “Truth or Dare” board? Now that was embarrassing.
8. Lost the password to his Admin account. He emailed to himself to get the password sent to him, but in his usual taciturn style, he just ignored the request.
7. New Year’s Resolution: “I won’t fry anybody who participates on the Jail board more than I do.” (Ooooooooooooo….!)
6. Is tired of the ghosts of previously fried members, such as Joemoney and MMMary, hovering over his bed and rattling chains at him in the middle of the night. Well, he doesn’t mind the ghost of MMMary doing that so much…
5. (Fill in your suggestion here, if it’s chosen, you’ll win a free FryDay nomination from Matt.) ________ ________ _____________ _____________ ____________ ___________ _______ ________.
4. Hmmm…. fung_derf disappears; Matt stops having FryDays. Perhaps fung had something to do with the grease supply? Call the Washington Post. This may be bigger than Halliburton.
3. Can’t bring himself to fire up the “frypot” because he’s too traumatized by that constant phrase he has to repetitively use in his day job. (“You want fries with that?”)
2. He just doesn’t like us anymore. Sniff.
And the number one reason why Matt has seemingly abandoned Frydays…
1. Got caught up in Friday’s soap-opera episode of “Days of Our Lives” and simply doesn’t want to miss a second of it!
