....let me trip your fun meter
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62 reasons why cucumbers are better than men (R)
1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after fucking it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep
in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.
The English teacher of the girls school used to fail all her students who did not put a full-stop at the end of their sentences. I guess, she really hated it when her girls missed their periods.
Romney On Whether We’re Better Off: ‘Of Course It’s Getting Better’
Don’t Buy into Facebook’s Sucker Rally Says Schoenberger.
of course not that's why he is so full of 'it' ;)
Would you like tofu with that?: McDonald's to open first vegetarian outlet...
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet-and-fitness/would-you-like-tofu-with-that-mcdonalds-to-open-first-vegetarian-outlet-20120905-25d51.html#ixzz25YWWjDa7
btw i'm hoping the feds investigate him and he winds up in jail
yeah that zombie will try anything to supress democratic voters
IMO, the country really went wrong when Bush stole the election in 2000.
The country would have been much better off under Gore.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2000
Francis the talking mule would have been better than GW.
FB initiated with a Buy at Jefferies; tgt $30
Fear Spurs GOP Delegates In Fight For Nominee They Don't Like
Romney Campaign Defends Lack Of War Talk In RNC Speech
Kristol: Romney Didn’t Make ‘A Positive Case’ For His Candidacy At The GOP Convention
Romney On Whether We’re Better Off: ‘Of Course It’s Getting Better’
RYAN GOES REVISIONIST: I WASN'T BLAMING OBAMA FOR GM PLANT CLOSURE
Ryan's History Of Lies Finally Catches Up With Him
he should be called ratso
she makes so much sense
watch this
if you want to read the real white house 2013 budget plans, and not the FOX news headline versions, read here...
http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/omb/budget/fy2013/assets/cutting.pdf
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.
Why Men Should Be Built By Kodak
- They would automatically shut off when they weren't being used.
- You wouldn't have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
- They last longer and come with a warranty.
- You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
- They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
- They come in fashion colors.
- You can keep them in maximum zoom.
- They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
- The parts that count are portable.
- They don't mind over-exposure.
- They respond to the slightest touch.
- The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Why Men Should Be Built By Kodak
- They would automatically shut off when they weren't being used.
- You wouldn't have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
- They last longer and come with a warranty.
- You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
- They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
- They come in fashion colors.
- You can keep them in maximum zoom.
- They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
- The parts that count are portable.
- They don't mind over-exposure.
- They respond to the slightest touch.
- The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Maher's New Rule For GOP: Admit George W. Bush Exists
Eastwood Berates Chairs: A Retrospective (VIDEO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/31/clint-eastwood-berates-ch_n_1848319.html
water
the letters run from h to o ;)
They cut him from the video but I would bet they didn't return his contribution check.
You mean the GOP doesn't want to show Eastwood's question about who thought it was a good idea to have lawyers run for president?
Of course, he was referred to Harvard Law graduate Obama, while, surprising, endorsing Harvard Law graduate Romney!
actually the joke implies that ;)
A mind is a terrible thing not to mess with.
Q: Why Was The Gay Sergeant Court-Martialed?
A: They Caught Him Playing With His Privates.
A woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked what was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."
Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?"
"Yes," quite innocently came her reply.
"Undress so I can check," replied the still amazed doc. So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer.
After some considerable time, the doctor, still looking puzzled, said, "Well, madame, I don't know what you have, but it's sure as hell contagious!"
Two gop political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"
the willard boys want everything scripted
it detracts
A video mash-up of speakers from last week's Republican National Convention does not include an appearance from the " mystery RNC speaker," Clint Eastwood.
The two-and-a-half minute video posted today to the Romney campaign's YouTube account features former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, VP nominee Paul Ryan and of course, Romney himself, but it leaves out Eastwood's controversial speech.
Eastwood caused a stir at the convention and on Twitter with a rambling speech Thursday night, in which he interviewed an invisible President Obama in a wooden prop chair.
The speech launched a trend called " Eastwooding ," and prompted one supporter to tell Vice President Joe Biden , "You gotta keep the chair."
"You got that? The invisible chair," Bev Kalmer of Poland, Ohio said.
White House senior adviser David Plouffe called Eastwood "an American treasure," on ABC's " This Week " Sunday.
"We're all Clint Eastwood fans here in the Obama campaign," Plouffe said.
A Romney adviser said the presidential candidate found Eastwood's routine funny, but other Republicans worried it disrupted the flow of the final night at the national convention.
"I personally think Clint Eastwood was a mistake before he came out," former California Senate candidate Carly Fiorina said today on "Meet the Press."
Speaking on the same show, former presidential candidate Newt Gingrich called the performance "a distraction."
"I think in the long run it's almost irrelevant. But it's the sort of bump that gives everything something to tweet about, and it provides lots of fodder," Gingrich said. "On the other hand, if you're Mitt Romney and your choice is to have Saturday Night Live decide to pick on Clint Eastwood or pick on you, I think- I think I'd give them Clint Eastwood for every night for the rest of the campaign."
Fred and Mary get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
She replies, 'No.
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school .
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'
He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...I gave him my airplane glue.
Spectactular Galaxy through the Hubble Telescope - Enjoy .. .so fasinating! Get out your headphones, crank up the full screen,and close out the world. . ..
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/hubbles-hottest-volume-i/17w4ilmo3?q=Hubble+space&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=msnrll
y/w feel free ro share it
Electronic Cigarettes Cause Damage To Lungs, Study Finds
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-09-02/e-cigarettes-not-tied-to-risk-of-heart-disease-in-study.html
i'm sure the main O hater who posts here will blame him for this...
http://news.yahoo.com/clint-eastwood-gets-cut-romney-rnc-video-203935058--abc-news-politics.html
Eastwood Gets Cut From Romney RNC Video
rotflmao at how true that is
t/y hun