....let me trip your fun meter
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Parking Lot Rules For Jerks
1. When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing
2. Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is really preferred though..
3. In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.
4. As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull through and take it from him.
5. Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car.
6. When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard.
7. When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed.
8. When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rule applies to picking-up and discharging passengers.
9. When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it.
Parking Lot Rules For Jerks
1. When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing
2. Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is really preferred though..
3. In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.
4. As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull through and take it from him.
5. Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car.
6. When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard.
7. When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed.
8. When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rule applies to picking-up and discharging passengers.
9. When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it.
Bumper Stickers
* If you are close enough to read this, I am close enough to slam on my brakes and sue you.
* Don't look back; they might be gaining on you.
* Drive carefully; we need every taxpayer we can get.
* Drive defensively - buy a tank.
* Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.
* On the back of an old pickup: If this truck was a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
* Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is.
* My kid was Prisoner of the Month at Orange County Jail.
* Support your State Troopers - Drive really fast.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
But what is your excuse when you ask F6 such a question?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
isn't he properly called "dim son"
or at least bush the lesser? ;)
oh hun u r oh so correct ;)
love it hun, u dun reel gud ;)
Paul Ryan Heckled During Value Voters Summit Speech
The Term “Teabagger” Is Vulgar, It IS Always Allowed Here ;)
The Term “Teabagger” Is Vulgar, It IS Always Allowed Here ;)
ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION: the inability to become
aroused over any of the choices for President, put
forth by the gop party in the 2012 election year.
a man of few words r u or a quick edit?
y/w hun
Kate Middleton Topless Scandal Spreads
George Will: Romney Presidency Wouldn't Have Prevented Riots
$60 Vix man someone placing a large bet wonder if they know something the common person doesnt
http://www.cnbc.com/id/49046994
i mean that is pure speculation, but this market truly does seem irrational...
THE QUESTION IS WHAT WILL THE DISASTER REVELATION BE that breaks down everything including QE!!!!?
What kind of event can shuffle us down?
Iran acknowledges elite troops in Syria, warns of retaliation if attacked
http://english.alarabiya.net/articles/2012/09/16/238355.html
some great sites listed here for traders...link
http://www.forexblog.org/2007/08/the-day-traders-toolkit-100-free-online-apps-for-professionals.html
some great sites listed here for traders...link
http://www.forexblog.org/2007/08/the-day-traders-toolkit-100-free-online-apps-for-professionals.html
That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"
Q: What do you call a lesbian with 10 girlfriends?
A: A bush-hog!
Top Ten BP Excuses
1. "The Gulf of Mexico was overdue for its 3,000 mile oil change"
2. "We promise we'll get around to it by Labor Day"
3. "Relax, it's only leaking 210,000 gallons a day"
4. "Giving everyone a free BP travel mug"
5. "Louisiana hasn't had a disaster in five years"
6. "Guy from Goldman Sachs said it would make money"
7. "Blame FEMA"
8. "Did you hear Ricky Martin's gay?"
9. "Blame Toyota"
10. "Honestly, we're so reckless - surprised it took this long"
A newly-married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they'd rented from the groom's parents.
That night, the father of the groom was awakened from his sleep by his wife. "Tony, listen!" she whispered.
He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in rhythm.
The wife said, "Come on, Tony! Let's make love!" So Tony climbed on top of his wife, and pounded the old bone home.
As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again. "Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's make love again!"
Once again, Tony climbed on top of his wife and screwed her as hard as he could.
As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again. "Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's do it again!"
So Tony grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling as he shouted, "Hey, kids, cut it out! You're killing your old man down here!"
he definitely has a way with colloquial words ;)
It's always darkest before daylight savings time.
Q: What kind of notebook should be used to study plants and trees?
A: A loose leaf notebook.
An Old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,
Are you a real pilot?
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "Are you a real pilot?"
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
An Old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,
Are you a real pilot?
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "Are you a real pilot?"
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
thx hun
he deserved the rebuke
that crap makes me wanna puke
damn, all this time i thot they were getting 72 virginians ;)
Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
Libya president: Attack involved 'foreigners'
A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No."
The little boy goes on, "Please .. please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."
The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise." So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother no and I'm telling you no."
The little girl says, "Please .. please Grandpa make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"
The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney world!"
just for you and your gop ilk...
Federal Reserve Expects to Keep Interest Rates Low Through Mid-2015 -
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/federal-reserve-interest-rates-low-mid-2015/story?id=17226149#.UFTm47IiaSo
Maker of “pink slime” sues everyone who calls it that
How about FMP? Frightening Meat Parts.
http://www.foodpolitics.com/2012/09/maker-of-pink-slime-sues-everyone-who-calls-it-that/
CAIRO (AP) — Al-Qaida's most active branch in the Middle East called for more attacks on U.S. embassies Saturday to "set the fires blazing," seeking to co-opt outrage over an anti-Muslim film even as the wave of protests that swept 20 countries this week eased.
Senior Muslim religious authorities issued their strongest pleas yet against resorting to violence, trying to defuse Muslim anger over the film a day after new attacks on U.S. and Western embassies that left at least eight protesters dead.
CAIRO (AP) — Al-Qaida's most active branch in the Middle East called for more attacks on U.S. embassies Saturday to "set the fires blazing," seeking to co-opt outrage over an anti-Muslim film even as the wave of protests that swept 20 countries this week eased.
Senior Muslim religious authorities issued their strongest pleas yet against resorting to violence, trying to defuse Muslim anger over the film a day after new attacks on U.S. and Western embassies that left at least eight protesters dead.
Here is how I know you goppers are just repeating garbage told to you by someone else and you, in reality, know nothing.
First, the murders happened in Libya, not Egypt.
Second, there is no proof of Obama apologizing for any of it.