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There is an article in The Providence Journal today about the beautiful Rhode Island accent. Apparently, some of us are attempting to learn to speak in such a manner that people will actually understand us. Not I.
Canada has banned all smoking unless it's hash. Kangaroos are allergic to hash. Why do you think he looks so sad?
Where's the cigarette?
I understand the real reason Churak was away was that it was mating season for the Kangaroo. Notice how tired he looks?
More merchandise for the iHub store??
REGO PARK, NY—Gabe Kloster, a 32-year-old Queens-based entrepreneur, expressed fear Monday that he may be unable to sell his remaining inventory of 40,000 urinal cakes bearing an image of Osama bin Laden between a pair of crosshairs.
Above: Kloster displays one of the thousands of novelty urinal cakes (right) that sit in his warehouse.
"A few months back, I couldn't make them fast enough," said Kloster, who supplies news- and pop-culture-related novelty products to discount stores and street vendors in the New York area. "Now I can't get rid of the goddamn things."
Kloster came up with the idea for bin Laden urinal cakes a few days after Sept. 11.
"I saw that guys on the Internet were already selling Osama bin Laden dartboards, toilet paper, trash cans, and kitty-pan liners, so I thought people would get a kick out of having the chance to piss on him," Kloster said. "Besides, I knew a guy in Paramus who could do the printing real cheap."
On Sept. 20, Kloster moved forward with an initial run of 2,000 urinal cakes, which sold out in just three days. He subsequently upped the run to 15,000, and by early October, the product had proven so popular that he decided to halt the manufacture of all other novelty items to focus exclusively on the cherry-scented, terrorist-decorated cakes.
"The sports bars loved them," Kloster said. "Paddy O'Lantern's, this bar near my house, even put a sign on the men's-room door saying 'Target Practice—This Way.' That same week, a newspaper in Hartford called to say they were interested in doing a story on [the cakes]. They never wound up doing one, but it was obvious I was on to something."
Encouraged by the positive response, Kloster raised the production run to 50,000 in early November. Unfortunately, interest soon began to wane. Since the beginning of December, Kloster has only sold 141 cakes, a 97 percent drop-off from his early-October sales peak.
"Bush said this war could drag on for years, so I quadrupled production, figuring the market would be hot for a while," Kloster said. "But then the Northern Alliance started capturing huge chunks of Afghanistan from the Taliban, and people here began to calm down a little. The last few weeks, with the war going so well, sales have really been in the shitter."
Above: A bar-goer in Garden City, NY, takes aim on the Saudi-born terrorist.
"Hopefully, bin Laden will do something else to really piss America off," Kloster continued. "I mean, I don't want another terrorist attack on the U.S., but maybe he could give us the finger or call us some really bad name. Short of something like that, I'm fucked."
Li Chang, a street vendor on Canal Street in New York's Chinatown, said he does not plan to order any more of the urinal cakes.
"In October, first time I order, I sell out very fast. In November, I order more, but it take longer to sell," Li said. "Now, I don't want no more. People still mad at [bin Laden], but not like before."
John Traber, owner of J.T.'s Touchdown Bar & Grill in Lyndhurst, NJ, also does not intend to reorder.
"This is kind of gross, but drunk guys kept stealing them out of the urinals to keep as souvenirs," Traber said. "[Kloster] was charging four times as much for the bin Laden cakes as you'd pay for regular ones, and I couldn't afford to keep replacing them, so I decided to go back to the regular kind."
Added Traber: "They had way too strong a cherry smell, anyway. Made the bathroom stink like perfume. Who wants to be overpowered by some sweet, fruity odor when you're taking a leak?"
Despite the inventory surplus, which could cost Kloster upwards of $70,000, the entrepreneur is feeling positive about his next venture.
"I got a really sweet deal on these framed posters of an American eagle crying in front of the Stars and Stripes... 25 cents each from this distributor in Ohio who needed to unload them fast," Kloster said. "I think I'll combine the Osama cakes with the posters as sort of a commemorative 'God Bless America' war-souvenir package."
Chruak will be back! His intro song!
Audio DSL
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Happy Birthday Colleen!
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AK, that headline should be "Nowhere Gets a Crosswalk to Nowhere." If anyplace in a state as small as RI could be termed "off the beaten track," it's Foster. It's hard to get to, but nobody cares because nobody wants to go there.
Nice to know Low will be safe getting his mail.
Primary Numbers?
R.I. Town Gets Crosswalk to Nowhere
Sat Jun 7, 1:20 AM ET Add AP - Feature Stories to My Yahoo!
By AMY FORLITI, Associated Press Writer
FOSTER, R.I. - This northwestern Rhode Island town finally got its first crosswalk. The problem is, it leads to nowhere.
The white-striped pedestrian marking popped up about two weeks ago, stretching from a large hedge on one side of a busy country road to a small stone property wall on the other.
"We've been trying to get a traffic light on Route 6 and here they go and put a crosswalk up that would only be good for deer or wild turkeys or turtles or something," said police Chief Donald Kettelle. "It's a crosswalk to nowhere."
Neighbor Bob Larrivee heard commotion late one night and saw strobe lights on Cucumber Hill Road, a busy two-lane stretch along the Connecticut border. He assumed workers were tending to a felled tree, or repainting the fading dividing lines.
"I went out to get my mail the next day, and I noticed it," said Larrivee. "It kind of jumps out at you."
It was painted accidentally by state-hired striping contractors who saw two "Pedestrian Crossing" signs that were posted 20 years ago to get drivers to slow down, said Frank Corrao, chief civil engineer for traffic engineering at the Department of Transportation.
"I wouldn't call it a mistake," Corrao said. "It was inadvertently marked, because they thought they were doing the right thing."
Larrivee, 54, said neighbors have enjoyed it for the most part, laughing about getting jobs as crossing guards, or saying they better use the crosswalk or risk getting a jaywalking ticket.
The state has decided to let the crosswalk — which would cost $200 to remove — fade over time.
"To be honest, I kind of like it," Larrivee said. "It's kind of a landmark."
Song dedicated to Churak We miss you!
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Since this is a stock related site....
LOL... I think the rants board could use one of those ;)
If you get out here, another must see is Hearst's Castle which is down the coast a bit.
LOL... well, I like the number 7 too. Maybe that's why the east coast and the west coast have such an affinity for each other :)
It's no wonder you weren't impressed by their hospitality..
Now, I've been there. I wasn't overly impressed though.
No, but it is definitely on my to do list!!! I just haven't found a reason to go to San Jose yet. I think that place looks too cool!!!
In Salem, MA they have the House of 7 Gables to cancel out that West Coast hex.
Sarah's fascination with the number 13 was evident everywhere, and in bathroom #13 we found 13 windows, one of them looking into the bedroom next door. We also found 13 drain holes in the kitchen sink and a 12-light gas chandelier modified to 13 lights.
yes it is if your name is Sara! Ever been to the Winchester Mansion in San Jose?
Yeah, but 13 is not!
777 is lucky! I'm taking it and running...
That's no grub!!! Geez, you are desperate!
he sure did... funny how the little guy dishes it out but gets upset when he receives it in turn. ah, the truth hurts! LOL
[edit] mini grub... 777
He certainly told the little guy off didn't he. lol.
this is the time when you want a "most recommended post" feature.
I'm sure this post is funny, but the life of me, I can't determine how?
ONEBGG, I thought you never posted here. Please release Derfie NOW!
I would think bitchin a better term.
It's nice to see that he appears well rested and quite cheerful.
Well...if you call that living.
He lives!..........
#msg-1081920
Does he have to play dead? TIA
Notable Quote:
When All Else Fails, Play Dead
-- a turkey hunter's philosophy
I'M RICH I'M RICH I'M RICH ok just getting carried away LOL
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Have you hugged your persecutor today?
Sox was telling me that happened to him.
And for all that watching, I still can't figure out how you do it.
AK
I don't like it there because you always watch.