Jewish wisdom
A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi and asks, “Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?''
The wise old Rabbi answers: " Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.
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If a married Jewish man is walking alone in a park and expresses an opinion without anybody hearing him, is he still wrong?
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My father says, "Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family." I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?"
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Jewish Marriage advice "Don't marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?"
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Morris went to his rabbi for some needed advice. "Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?"
"No Morris, a man should not profit from another's man mistakes" answered the rabbi.
"Are you sure Rabbi?"
"Of course, I'm sure, in fact I'm positive" exclaimed the Rabbi.
" Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife?"
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The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."
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Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."
