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On a lighter note..Safety Tips for Penny Players:

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Stock Lobster Member Profile Stock Lobster  
Saturday, November 18, 2006 10:19:43 AM
Re: MACDad post# 38 Post # of 72 
On a lighter note..Safety Tips for Penny Players:

INVESTORS!

Please do not snort the koolaid. It does not make you a better investor.

Try to avoid recreationals during trading hours in general. They tend to make you do reckless things like buy stocks with billions of shares outstanding and no bids, and a CEO who challenges message board posters to a fistfight.

Do not believe rumors that psilocybin lets you see free level 2s in your head. Sadly, it's not true. Not even the organic kind.

No, Virginia, MDMA is not a stochastic measure.

Don't touch the brown liquor. That's for the accountant. The tickets for Namibia are for the CEO.

Please exercise extreme caution when joining an investment cult. They often end up in bizarre rituals of group financial suicide.

Investment cults are not a good place to make friends or meet a mate. Their leaders are usually humorless alcoholic ex-cons, and many ringleaders have an extra chromosome.

Should you find yourself inadvertantly trapped in a stock cult which is on a well planned collision course with an iceberg or the SEC, please identify all exits ahead of an emergency escape.

Remember to switch your brain back to the "ON" position

Consider taking 'common sense' and 'reason' off "iggy"

If half the posts on a stock board are being deleted, assume this is not a good sign. Your board moderator should not be using the Texas Chainsaw Handbook of Discussion Management.

Make sure the aisles are clear, and remember that in case of a sudden loss of buying pressure, market orders become your friend.

Try to avoid barfing on your computer during sharp descents. Smart investors keep a copy of the Wall Street Journal around for this purpose.

Anytime you hear a "boat" or "truck" reference in the same sentence as a stock, be alarmed. 'Loading the boat' and 'backing up the truck', should immediately conjure images of martime disasters, refugee flotillas, stolen merchandise, and traffic accidents.

Practice 'safe speculation' (an oxymoron I know), and never put all your eggs in one basket, unless you like the idea of a big omelette with bits of eggshell and wicker in it.

Contrary to popular belief, the best time to buy is not when blood is running in the streets, unless you like the idea of a mangled corpse. These concepts do not apply to penny stocks, where the the stock may have been attacked with the lead PIPE of dilution or exposed corruption, and blood can run for weeks leading most often to the stock's certain demise.



















_______________________________________________________
If you take anything I say as advice, you're crazier than I am.

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