Rules for being a man:
- It is acceptable for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
After wrecking your boss's car.
When she is using her teeth.
After Angelina Jolie takes off her blouse.
- On a road trip, the strongest bladder dictates pit stops, not the weakest.
- Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, unless she is withholding sex pending your response.
- Never talk to another man in a public toilet. A nearly imperceptible nod is the only thing required.
- There is no reason for guys to watch men's ice skating.
- The universal compensation for guys who help you move is beer.
- Never, ever slap another man.
- Never hesitate to take the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both.
