Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars? Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.
Why are dogs so bad at dancing? Because they have 2 left feet.
This Halloween I decided to go as a harp. As I walked into the party, a gentleman asked, "what are you supposed to be?" "A harp", I replied. "No, no. You're much too small to be a harp" he protested. So I asked, "are you calling me a lyre?"
What's the most popular drink ordered at bars? One more
A man tries for a job as a blacksmith. "Do you have any experience in horseshoeing?" "No, but I once told a donkey to f**k off."
That World Series game was so long.. When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.
Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?
Employee discounts.
"Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed?" "Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"
Why are plants so thin? They always eat light.
