Amoeba: "Dad, how was I made?"
Amoeba Dad: "Well, son, when a man loves himself very much..."
"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?", I asked. She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
I watched a deaf ventriloquist.
His jokes were funny, but you could see his hands move.
My wife says I dance like a coma victim
being stood up and zapped with a cattle prod.
Real men don't waste their hormones growing hair.
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
By that, I mean that I have a hangover.
New ANTI-social networking site:
Shutyerfacebook
I bought a rug off Ebay that was advertised as being "in mint condition." When it arrived, it had a hole right in the middle.
You know your old when young sexy girls talk too you out of the blue.
