Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...

In the maternity ward of a hospital a newborn girl baby looks over at newborn baby boy and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue booties"

A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.
She pleads, "please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"

It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me

The NSA's "Facial Recognition" software can pick a person out of a crowd but a vending machine can't recognize a dollar with a bent corner?

National shortage of ADD drugs !!!
There's now a nationwide shortage of Attention Deficit Disorder drugs.
The FDA says it doesn't know how it happened.
I guess somebody wasn't paying attention.