Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

The Soviet Union should get back together for a Soviet Reunion.

If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".

I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "Get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in.

Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.

The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HELL???""

I'm going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn't matter... something's gonna die tonight.

The ¿ was going to be used to denote irony or sarcasm.
Let’s make it happen! This will be easy¿

My friend just came to me all depressed because his kid’s failing 3rd grade, and he doesn’t know how to break it to him.

Apparently “slowly” wasn’t the advice he was looking for.