Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I bought a book called "Beating Addiction"
yesterday. I haven't been able to put it down.

I'm not an alcoholic...........................
...........I just like having an attractive wife.

I met this amazing telepathic prostitute the
other day. She blew my mind.

I lost my dog. Unfortunately, I don't have collar ID.

I was recently attacked by a tobacconist.
I've still got the cigars to prove it.