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Marlette: Capitalism shines after solar sham fails
I do not know if the moon is in the Seventh House. I do not know if Jupiter has aligned with Mars. And I don’t know nothin’ about peace guiding planets or love steering stars.

But I do know this. Because Floridians rejected the big, fat scam known as Amendment 1 about a month ago, an age of capitalistic, job-creating, consumer-empowering, free market solar energy has already started to dawn here in the Sunshine State.

The Associated Press reported last week that following the rejection of the phony solar amendment on Election Day, the largest solar panel installer in the U.S. has decided to expand its business into Florida, starting with an operations center in the Orlando area that could mean about 100 new jobs.

The company called SolarCity is a California-based subsidiary of electric car maker Tesla Motors, which is run by some rich guy named Elon who makes cars or rocketships or rocket-powered flying cars or some other fancy contraptions that most of us can’t afford.
But what SolarCity does is a different story. It installs, maintains, repairs and leases solar systems to property owners who want to suck up some Florida sunshine but can’t front a big wad of cash to buy the equipment outright. Good news, right?

What’s most illuminating about all this though, ain’t the solar-powered light bulbs. It’s the fact that the failure of Amendment 1 instantly had so many bright sides to the story.
First there was the justice factor. Florida’s big power companies spent many, many millions on a fake campaign to trick voters into doing something that would be bad for we the peeps of Florida. Watching the industry-concocted scheme blow up in their faces was simply satisfying. What could have been the dawning of the age of nefarious, instantly became the age of hilarious. The voters didn’t get tricked. They spoke up. Justice was served. The little guys won out for once.

So how lovely to see the fruits of that win already. SolarCity’s expansion into Florida is exactly the sort of thing that Gov. Scott and other free market Republicans preach all the time. Less law. Less red tape. Less regulation. More jobs, investment and opportunity. A deceptive and oppressive law was rejected. And new jobs were created almost instantly. Bingo.

This was textbook, folks. This was straight out of the Limbaugh Institute for Conservative Studies. More freedom equals better economy. Boom. The failure of Amendment 1 just proved it.

So what a shame we can’t remember too many free market Florida Republicans condemning Amendment 1 as the anti-capitalist, anti-competition scam that it was a few months ago. Keep that in mind next time one of these yokels tries to convince you of his “conservative” credentials.

But beyond exposing hypocrisy, the SolarCity expansion exemplifies the inherently symbiotic relationship between modern free market capitalism and renewable energy technology. Solar ain’t just for pot-smoking, long-haired, hippies anymore. It’s for milk-drinking, bald Republicans like Gov. Scott, too!

If nothing else, the failure of Amendment 1 and the subsequent creation of new solar jobs offers an uplifting vision of unity for Florida — a brighter future where greedy capitalists and crazy tree huggers all share the same goals. And all the rest of us normal folk just end up richer and healthier because of it.

Harmony and understanding. Sympathy and trust abounding. Mystic crystal revelation and the mind's true liberation. Ain’t it wonderful?!

So may the failure of Amendment 1 stand as a mutual triumph for both Mother Earth and Daddy Warbucks, with many more victorious years to come. And let it inspire a celebration, where all across the great state of Florida, every demoralized Democrat joins hands with every smug Republican — from peninsula to Panhandle — to sing a harmonious song for solar energy:

Let the sunshine,

Let the sunshine in,

The sunnnnn-shine-innnn!

We’ll go from the age of contrarious to the age of gregarious (thanks, rhyming dictionary!). But one small producer’s note: If Gov. Scott is going to join this chorus line, we have to change the production’s name to something other than “Hair.” Just sayin’.